Whenever things go wrong, who is at fault? Some people look for anyone to blame but themselves. That generally causes problems. But equally, if not more problematic is the habit of blaming yourself. Whenever something happens, do you think about how you screwed up? Do you look to see how you are ruining things for other people? Low self image, which goes hand in hand with depression at times, can lead you to blaming yourself for most things. No matter what happens, you start looking for reasons why it is your fault instead of someone elses; begin apologizing to everyone for how you screwed up. The first step in correcting this is building up your self-esteem. That is also the hardest step. You need to start to accept that sometimes things just happen and it is not your fault. Not everything is caused by you, and not everything is something that you can control if you cant control it, dont apologize for it. The next thing to do is stop internalizing the guilt. In some people, pride is fleeting, but guilt will last for days. While not feeling any guilt is problematic, so is feeling guilty for days on end. Instead, you want to process feelings of guilt, learn from them and move on. But its still important to make sure that these are not misplaced feelings of guilt. Make sure you are only feeling guilty for things that you are able to control. If the train is late, it isnt your fault and theres nothing you can do about it. Dont feel the need to apologize. By eliminating the guilt, smiling becomes a little easier. |
